Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
