sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
