Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
