Don't you send me to vm
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
