508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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