And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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