Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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