Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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