Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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