what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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