he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
