Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
