I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
