Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
