C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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