I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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