looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
