There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Found your dick twin last night
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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