why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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