I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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