Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I met the friendliest cop last night
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
