Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
