My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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