i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It was confusing and full of hummus
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
