I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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