You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
