YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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