i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize