Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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