I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
