i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
