...so i touched it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I have tasted many bathrooms
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
