Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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