Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
