i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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