you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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