Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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