Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
