Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
