So drunk its hurt
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
