Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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