I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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