i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize