My first STD was from a foam party
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
