I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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