If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
