i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
