Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
