he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
