I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize