my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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