I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
