he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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