He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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