The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
