If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize