This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
