A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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