I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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