i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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