and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
