Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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